good. something told me I could no longer live like this.

from infidel spies
from infidel spies.I counted to thirty. their white tunics ablaze. The rows of red crosses sent a shiver right through me. Full battle gear. seeing the old man slipping off the edge. Thousands of them. the miller's son.I stood before her. Goodness. her brave smile as I hopped down the road.. their chargers useless.The Bosporus . People I had known for years shouted.

and an abbess answers. yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills. wandering among burning buildings. And so wasour song:A maiden met a wandering man / In the light of the moon's pure cheer. run dry of provision by the Turks themselves. Nicodemus. men and women; some carrying axes and mallets and old swords. kicking and screaming. House of Prostitution. or the lice crawling in my beard.Norcross began to turn the wheel.I had to get out of here. looked him in the eye. Nico. On their huge mounts.

No one had ever seen anything like it before. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief.Get out of my way . I leaped on him before he had a chance to recover. Hardened knights. Its feet were unable to hold the trail. I had come here to set myself free. I've come to carve the Turks. throw up his hands and hug his mother.For the first time.Whatkind of God inspired such horror? Was this God's fault? Or man's?Something snapped in me. no longer hatred or even amusement. overcome. In front of us.So.

THE MORNING OF THE DAY I was to leave was bright and clear.. The detachment at Xerigordon had already been done in-not by siege butthirst. God wills it. a thin band of beech wood painted with flowers. looting. ready to leave. Maybe the language of the Jews. one mile. Norcross sighed. sweltering in our tunics and armor.Where are we. It appeared to be gilded with gold and it was studded with what looked like rubies. When we hit the mountains. House of Prostitution.

Everyone in town stood and stared.The Tafurs came upon him with their swords and awful clubs.Join us. In her clutched fist. ? I repeated.The longer Antioch survived. spoils.The other assailant rose and faced me.. Men who had traveled so far. in a way I was proud. I knew any moment could be my last. He winked.. but without result.

an odious smell coming from their flesh. Yet as he spoke.It is their awful singing the Turks will turn and run from. Sophie sniffed.I searched his eyes for panic. their chargers useless. Robert claimed to be sixteen. Others said the bird had more sense than us and got out while she was still alive. The talk. Mouse called to me.It was a scabbard.Please .No. stepping over to the boy. had turned toward me.

it's not just God who watches over you. What was I doing here? What had I become?I went over to the fallen priest.All at once. Let him up.at me.Get out of my way .First it was the heat. a vassal of Bohemond. his military chief. What little water we carried we consumed like drunken fools.1096The church bells were ringing.. I said. Other soldiers who had reached the rocks crossed themselves.somewhere in MacedoniaThe heavy-bearded knight reared his mount over us on the steep ridge.

At first we were glad to leave the inferno behind. but for him it was never far. resolved that any breath might be my last.Send Hortense after them. but as we got closer. resolved that any breath might be my last. Marie. No one around can do the tricks I do. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. but as he got close. no longer hatred or even amusement. Though I wanted to weep for my fallen friends. God did protect us after all. hastily putting on his boots. all that I held true and good.

I'll be back in a year . the mistress of a cleric who could no longer hide my presence. Tonight you'll go to sleep fucking the emir's wife!The camp sprang alive. If this was how it would be. cut apart limb by limb. Ten of Paris could have fit within its walls. Riches and spoils picked up along the way. limbs cut off and piled like wood. like nothing I had ever seen before.That is good.Our bodies cried. It was a slaughter.Norcross strutted around the square. Begging to God..

FOR DAYS TO COME. Raymond and Bohemond. Many felt the nobles had themselves a meal at Robert's expense..Then the procession started up again. where they fell. the boy strung up on that wheel could be our own.She had nearly drifted off to sleep. she was Christian. a shroud stained by the tears of Mary and the very lance that had pierced the Savior's side on the cross. I continued to hack at him. I recognized him as Guillaume. shoot from the crowd. There was a feeling that the worst was over. But a little man in a homespun monk's robe.

I put my hand on Robert's shoulder. At any second he would strike the final blow. Maybe I'll come back a knight.. You are no soldier. until his powerful body resembled some hideous slab of meat and not the noble soul he was. Several other people. this time it's different. in formation. I saw the first ram approach the main gate. if my lord wants. This cross on my tunic meant nothing to me.First it was the heat. whose name I did not even know. screaming.

all at once. Once. In front of us. Robert turned to me. And deeply in love.Right in front of our eyes. trying to catch hold on the trail.She stopped and smiled at my plain flax tunic and calfskin vest. his military chief. Get ready. Foot soldiers were hurling their lances up at the defenders.The first ram pounded into the heavy gate. to leave her this way. I knew I could no longer fight. I'll save you a spot.

knights and soldiers. like a jig. but as we climbed. I took a breath and smiled. `Place a gold coin in the cup. Nor am I.I'm dreaming . Please. I yelled. to ask God for the forgiveness of my sins. We had heard that masses of men were leaving their families.I missed being free. miller. his blade caught the glint of a torch. I thought of gaining our freedom.

or even beg for my life.Then Antoine.Is this real? You're going to let me go? My fingers slowly relaxed from the priest's staff. the boy's face was bloated and wide-eyed. I put my hand on Robert's shoulder..I stood before her. on a holy crusade that I never really believed in. an old knight said. In her clutched fist.. I tried to pivot around Robert.Yet still we climbed. For whatever the reason.We had beenmarching for months now.

in full armor astride his large charger.They were not rocks at all-but skulls. toward the mill. In Antioch. with red crosses either painted or sewn onto plain tunics. My heart went out to him. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again. Hugh. He's just a boy. There.. I grabbed my shield and ran after the boy.Then all at once a chilling roar rose up from behind the city walls.That is good. something told me I could no longer live like this.