What Is Kindness To Parents?

The parents are entitled by right to kind and dutiful treatment from their children. Since this is an important duty that Allah emphasized so strongly, it is essential for every human being to know what constitutes kind treatment

of parents. It is no exaggeration to say that for a believer, to be a dutiful son or daughter is to take the way that surely leads to heaven.

We note first that Islam uses the Arabic word birr in connection with children's attitude towards their parents. The term connotes kindness, compassion, benevolence, and almost every aspect of good and generous treatment

of others. One of Allah's own attributes is derived from this root. Allah is the "Barr," which means that His kindness, compassion, grace, and generosity never fail. Scholars say that this term includes everything that is good.

Muslim scholars divide birr into two main branches; financial and non-financial. In respect of children-parent relationship, if either or both parents are poor, children must support them according to their means. This is not a

matter of choice. Islam makes it a duty on the children to look after their parents, providing them with the same standard of living as they provide for their own children. If they are well off, to go beyond the mere provision of

what is necessary for a decent living, so as to allow their parents to share in the comforts and luxuries that they can afford, is to make an investment for the hereafter. Nothing goes amiss with Allah. Allah is pleased with any

son and daughter who please their parents.

Looking for Allah's reward, some people make their parents feel that whatever they own is their parents' as well. They can use it in the way they please. Although some people are careless how they spend their money, most

parents are more careful when it comes to spending their children's money than spending their own. So, to make one's parents feel that they do not live on their children's charity is to give them that kind of trust that makes

the difference between feeling oneself to be a burden and feeling perfectly at home. The more parent feels happy and contented with their children, the more Allah is pleased with those children. Moreover, parents pay their

children back immediately. This takes the form of praying Allah for them. Such a prayer by parents for their children, which for Muslims, normally takes the form of "May Allah be pleased with you," is certain to be answered.

When Allah is pleased with someone, He helps him or her overcome their difficulties, eases their hardships, and guides them to success in this life as well as in the hereafter.
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The duty required of sons with respect to financial support of their parents is to provide them with what is reasonable according to their means. A son of moderate means cannot be expected to provide his parents with the

same standard of living as a much wealthier son. Although we speak of this as kind treatment by children, it is indeed a repayment of a debt. Parents look after their children when they are young and helpless. They provide

them with all they need as much as they can. Moreover, they do it willingly. Children take what they are given unaware of how much effort their parents exert in order to earn money for them. When the children grow up and

their parents are in need of their support, that support must come naturally, without letting the parents feel themselves to be a burden on their children.